sweet sixteen.

this was the run i knew would tell me whether or not i'd even make it to the start of this race.  every runner's worst nightmare is an injury following the longest training run- managing to recover from those long runs while maintaining mileage.  there's not really a grey area.  it's yes, or no.

after the 22, my left LCL had slight tears in it- possibly from the 20 miler i did the week before- but that ended well.  sometimes when a training run or race ends well, it is not a good idea to push your limits the following week.  for me, this ends badly 100% of the time, and me being me, went ahead and did it anyway.  i was barely able to walk the following day, and had been gradually getting my mileage back up with a bit of pain in my leg and a LOT of anger and frustration.  sometimes the pain was so searing that my knee felt like it would give way, and i'd just collapse.  two days ago, i had a ten miler that was shit.  i wanted to cry, curse, and throw things.  so i did.

runner injuries are different than regular people injuries.  i'm not being prejudiced.  they just are.  regular people consider themselves injured once they realize the pain is preventing them from performing basic, fundamental functions- walking, sitting, standing, kneeling, etc.  a RUNNER realizes they are fatally wounded when after 11 miles of running, they develop an annoying pain.  at which point, it is the END of the world.  they are headed for the glue factory.  they might as well be dead.  somebody point them in the direction of the nearest cliff so they can go all lady macbeth on their own ass.  it's true.  i was wearing my knee brace yesterday.  "but you're walking just FINE" someone pointed out... "YES, but my knee has problems going further than a half marathon!  CLEARLY, i am NOT fine!" 

after the first mile, i took my knee brace off.  what kind of asshole would i have to be to have to limp 15 fucking miles in a knee brace?  a huge one.  if i can't cover this distance on my own strength, i have no business even showing up on race day.  none.  so i slowly did my first five around spring street, down to baileys, and back on bellevue.  one circuit.  i swung by my house again, and made the decision not to do two more 5 mile circuits, but to put all my cards on the table and just finish with an ocean drive 10.  miles 1 through 7 were cautious, but confident.  7-12, it was touch and go.  i had no idea whether i was going to make it.  mile twelve came exactly at the fort adams hill.  something snapped.  a switch was flipped, and suddenly i was free of pain.  it was like a huge weight had gone, and i could charge that hill as fast as i wanted to.  naturally, this was an unbelievable feeling, so i started crying.  the motorists must have thought i was nuts.  i opened up and was flying.  i was my usual running self, and felt fantastic.  i ended up putting sixteen miles away instead of 15. 

the rest of the run back into town was strong and steady.  there's definitely a marathon in there, no doubt.  i missed my IYRS alumni regatta this weekend.  it's okay.  there's other ways of winning.