universe.

during a recent conversation, a friend of mine noted that she was putting it out to the universe that she was looking for a new apartment. 

huh?

apparently this means that once you put the idea out there into the ether, everything will turn out the way it is supposed to, in some kismet sort of happenstance.  i.e. she will find the perfect apartment in the perfect location, for the perfect price. 

i can see how someone would think that this sort of makes sense.  i'm more of a "create my own luck" sort of person.  i don't believe in coincidences... however lately, i've seen too many BAD people receive their comeuppance so maybe there's something more to this "energy in the universe" talk.


in the last several months, i've been riding my bicycle a lot, and every time i got onto my bike, i resented it a little more each time.  it had scratches on the top, a bent in part of the frame that went to the back wheel, and a new set of pedals that i had to replace because a drunken imbecile damaged it the very first week i bought it.  it was my first time buying a bike, i was very excited about it, and before i had even gotten a chance to ride it, someone else damaged it for me.  i was disappointed and hurt.  but not angry.  mostly sad that someone disrespected me and my belongings enough to not take care of something i worked hard for.... but that was pretty indicative of our relationship all along.  if you don't work for something, and it just gets handed to you, you have no appreciation of the value i suppose.   needless to say, i have a different job.  and nice things now.

as it is, i was fortunate enough to have some extra money lying around and toyed with the idea of buying a new bike.  every time i looked at the scratches and dents on my bike, i resented it more and more.  i wanted a perfect bike.  because i deserved a perfect bike.  when i bought my bike, it was perfect.  it drove me nuts, and i didn't want to keep seeing any vestiges of a completely screwed up relationship- so fuck him.

tuesday morning, i came out to my bike to drive to work, and it was gone.  just gone.  sigh.  someone took it away.  maybe they needed it more than i did.  before i had decided on a new bike, the universe decided for me.  the next morning, i replaced it with a brand new one.  a better one.  she has no scratches, no dents.   i didn't get to say goodbye to the old one.  maybe it's better that way.   if the bike is ever recovered, i will give it away.  the fact that some bad person stole it doesn't make me happy.  i'd rather see it go to someone deserving.  and not a horse thief. 

either way, it is what it is.  next time i throw an idea out there to the universe, i'll be careful what the idea is.  it may materialize in an unexpected way... but the way it should be.  :-)